My boyfriend and I have officially been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. While he may only live two and a half hours away from me, going from living basically right next door to several hours away definitely makes a difference. Over this past year though, I’ve learned some ways to make not seeing each other on a regular basis a little easier.
Talk Often, But Not Too Often
While I’m not the biggest believer in distance makes the heart grow fonder, I do believe there is some merit behind it. My boyfriend and I text throughout the day and normally talk on the phone a couple of times a day as well, but I always also remind myself that it’s okay if we go some time without talking. We used to talk so often that I would get stressed if I didn’t hear from him for a while, and when you’re not seeing each other that can end up being a lot. When we go a while without talking it gives me time to do my own thing. Also, when I hear from him again I’m excited to hear about what I missed.
Find a Time to Talk
Pick a time that’s specifically cut out for you to talk. For my boyfriend and I it’s actually not a set time every day, but instead whenever we’re heading somewhere in the car. While the other person may not always be available, it at least gives us a chance to talk sometimes. It’s also nice because I’ll normally be more focused on the conversation because I won’t have a lot of other things I could be doing to distract me. It’s gotten to the point where I’m sad when I have to drive somewhere and I know he won’t be able to talk. I’ve found that only talking at night doesn’t work as well for us because we’re (I’m) normally so tired the conversation doesn’t last more than a couple of minutes.
Start a Shared Calendar
This was so helpful in the beginning! I was working all the time and he had classes, work and volunteering. Our schedules were different every week. When we first moved away from each other I set up Google Calendar so it would share with each other our schedules. We each have our own color and can put whatever we want on it. That way, I could always look and see what he had going on and he could do the same. It saves a lot of time and wondering what the other person is doing.
Keep Your Expectations in Check
It’s easy to assume your SO will be hanging out waiting for you to call or text, but that’s not the case. Chances are the reason you’re doing long-distance is at least one of you is so busy they can’t get away. With that being said, they’re probably not going to have time to respond to you every couple of seconds. Remember that this is okay. You will have so much more time to be able to be together and talk.
Make the Most of Your Time Together
The memories you make when you’re spending time together will mean more to you than ever. You’re no longer making new memories every day that all just fade together. You will spend the time until you see each other again thinking about the time you last spent together. It may seem easier to just hang out at home the whole time you’re together. Instead, try balancing that with going out and doing something different. It will give you something extra to look forward to and something to think back on when you get home. Plus it’ll be so much fun!
Being in a long distance relationship can be really hard, but just keep reminding yourself that it’s not forever!